Slummy Mummy Column (2005)

My column which ran in the Irish Independent in 2005

In Praise of Unsuitable Writers

Writer Martina Murphy tells me that her books have been deemed ‘unsuitable’ in a particular northside Dublin school. She was booked by the school to talk to their pupils about her work, but when she arrived was told by one rather crabby teacher that under no circumstances was she to read from her own books as they weren’t ‘suitable’.

‘I was horrified,’ she says. ‘But I decided to ignore that particular teacher. I went right ahead and discussed my books; and yes, read from them. At the end the headmaster congratulated me for giving such a brilliant talk.’ The teacher who had called her work ‘unsuitable’ never apologised.

Martina’s books for teenagers, Livewire, Dirt Tracks and Fast Car, contain ‘bad language’, the type of language that the average nine year old is well familiar with. Her plots are hard hitting, gritty even, and she doesn’t shy away from ‘difficult’ subjects like teen loneliness, joyriding and suicide.

But Martina is hugely popular with teenage readers and has won several prestigious children’s literature awards for her work, including a Bisto Book of the Year and an International White Raven. She’s writing another teenage book at the moment and let’s hope it’s as ‘unsuitable’ and as popular with teens as the rest of her books.

English clergyman turned children’s author, GP Taylor found himself in a similar situation in a Cornwell school only last month. He says ‘I was shown the door for using language that was not appropriate for my audience.’ Yes, he mentioned farting - horror of horrors.

Martina and GP Taylor are only two in a long line of ‘unsuitable’ children’s authors. In Ireland we are privileged to have two very wonderful ‘unsuitable’ authors in the form of Eoin Colfer and Roddy Doyle. Both talk about dog poo (it plays an important part in one of Roddy’s plots) and normal body functions in their work.

Eoin was awarded an Edinburgh Book Festival Medal for his brilliant book talks but when I brought my son’s class to see him earlier this year one of the parents attending with me said she was ‘shocked by his use of bad language’ (that stock phrase again) and his fixation with body functions and dirty nappies. Eoin did an amazing skit on terry towelling nappies - remember them - which brought the house down. I thought it hilarious myself. And as the mum of an eleven year old, extremely mild. My son went straight home and buried himself in Eoin’s latest book. Result!

When I was a young reader Judy Blume’s ‘Forever’ was deemed highly ‘unsuitable’ because of its frank discussion of teenage sex. We used to pass it round under the desks in school, the best bits highlighted by breaks in the spine from popularity.

Hell, as a teenager Jilly Cooper’s books were my sex manuals, answering questions about sex far more honestly than any ‘facts of life’ books. Prudence, Octavia and Bella fuelled my love of funny, frank romantic fiction, from Jane Austen to the more modern Marian Keyes. Without Jilly and Judy I wouldn’t be the reader I am today.

Labelling books and authors ‘unsuitable’ just draws attention to certain books and makes them more desirable. And teenagers lap them up. Because isn’t that the whole point? Reading can make the difference between a child who is having literacy problems in school and a child who is managing to stay afloat. I thank God that my son loves a good story. Reading, he’s not so keen on, but he’ll do it if the story’s good enough.

So I say call all cracking children’s and teenager’s books ‘unsuitable’. Go one step further - slap a large, garish yellow parental guidance sticker on them. But keep the kids reading!